Gay Nepal & Tibet

Forget Lost Horizon--it's more like Lost Weekend for the lost generation in Lhasa.

"Are you ready?" blasts the sound system promptly at 10 pm--and the crowd of young twenty-somethings shouts in unison, "Yo! Hey! Disco! Disco!". Benny, the beaming DJ from Chengdu cranks up the sound, the strobe lights flash and the dance floor fills up.

It's Friday night in Lhasa at the Top End Disco. The crowd is about 60% male, peach-fuzz faces and slant eyes, cuteness to die for. It's a rice-queen's wet dream--although strictly speaking Tibetans do not eat much rice, but subsist on yak meat, potatoes, noodles and tsampa (roasted barley flour). Like their peers anywhere else in the world, these guys and girls (there are even a few drag queens), just wanna have fun.

You be the man!

There are virtually no foreigners--and being the only "European" in the hall, guys come up to invite me to join them--drinks (Pabst Blue Ribbon, Lhasa Beer or Coca-Colas) are on them. I'm dragged to the dance floor to join their little circle, pay for my cab fare back to the hotel--and if you're lucky, sometimes you might get someone to go back with you after hand-holding, cuddling and dancing in the dark. One well-built Tibetan student, on holiday from the University of Beijing, asked me to do a slow dance with him--pressing me up against his sweaty, barrel chest, and whispered, "You be the man."

Gay readers of Heinrich Harrer's Seven Years in Tibet must have been heartened by the author's disclosure that in Tibet "homosexuality is very common. It is even condoned as giving proof that women play no part in the life of those monks that indulge in it." The former SS Austrian Alpinist (portrayed by Brad Pitt on the screen) who fled to Tibet from a British WWII internment camp in India, also admitted finding the Dalai Lama's brother an "attractive youth". So just as Harrer doesn't like to talk about his Nazi past, he may also have had other secrets in the closet. In any case, gay travellers will want to take their asses over the Himmies to look for their own seven inches in Tibet.

From Kathmandu to Lhasa

From Nepal you have to join a group travelling from Kathmandu to Lhasa, by air or overland, as individual travel is not allowed. Even in a Land Cruiser it is an arduous journey that could take three to five days. Crossing the Friendship Bridge from the Nepal border into Tibet and climbing steep cliffs into what appears to be a Chinese landscape painting with pagodas and cascading waterfalls, I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. Is this really Tibet--or is it a matte backdrop for Lost Horizon?

On our first night out, our Tibetan guide and cars had not yet arrived from Lhasa, so we were obliged to spend the night in the seedy border town of Zhangmu which, with its vice and (female) prostitution, has earned itself the reputation of being the Tijuana of Tibet. However, that could mean fun for some. We spent the night at the Gang Gyen hotel with its cute, friendly and obliging Nepalese staff. There is even a disco on the premises and a public bath. The Tibetan bath attendant was happy to show off his large tap in the shower stall, and was more than generous with the copious amounts of shower cream.

On the third day we detoured off the main road past lunar landscape to the Sakya Monastery where the flirty non-celibate monks challenge a visitor to arm-wrestling with their bare muscular arms. Unlike Thai monks, these guys didn't seem to mind an arm around the waist. By evening we reach Shigatse, the second largest city in Tibet and which resembles generic Central Asia with its broad poplar lined boulevards and bazaars tended by Muslim merchants.

Practising English Tibetan style

We share a hotel with a troupe of equestrian acrobats who perform in a field the next day. The well-built, young horsemen are very friendly and surprisingly a few speak some English. One shows me their stables at dusk and takes me back to his room to "practice English". One of the first things he wants to learn, he indicates, is the word for lips as he plants his on my kisser.

On the fifth day we finally reach Lhasa. Aside from the fabulous, looming Potala Palace, considered one of the wonders of the world. Lhasa looks uniformly un-exotic until we reach the old Tibetan "quarter". Signs are in Chinese and the little English signage that appears everywhere is "OK", indicating karaoke. Across from the Potala a neon sign blinks "JJ Disco" a reminder that distractions such as discos, karaoke, bowling, brothels and roller rinks are omnipresent in Lhasa.

In contrast to South Asian countries, Tibet, as the rest of China, there is little social restriction against male and female mixing in public--and the barbers giving men's haircuts are all female, and many double as "masseuses". With the large contingent of PLA soldiers stationed there, Lhasa has more (female) sex-workers per capita than Bangkok!

If you want to make friends in Lhasa, it's probably a good idea to start out with your guide whose English skills and knowledge of Lhasa would be pretty good. Many of the guides--mostly young men in their early 20s--were schooled in India, and after graduation returned to Tibet to find employment, but the Chinese authorities are now clamping down on the Indian-educated returnees who are loyal to the DL (Dalai Lama), considered a "splittist" by Beijing.

As you circumambulate around the Barkhor, you'll also find a few merchants who also speak English. The public billiard tables are good places to find guys (though they won't speak English) and the blaring videotheque cafés are also good for cuddling and pick-ups. One guy came back with me to my room from one of these video joints and another followed me upstairs to the toilet for some hanky-panky.

Free show in the locker room

Another venue to meet Tibetan guys is the indoor public swimming pool. You can get a free show in the male locker room where guys undress without covering themselves and shower naked in the open stalls. I couldn't help noticing a couple of well-hung Tibetans, and a muscular, off-duty Chinese cop. The cops in Lhasa are recruited young, and many look like Boy Scouts in uniform and are not averse to snuggling. Inside the pool, it is easy to make new friends, and phone numbers are exchanged beside tables where food and drink is served. Swimsuits and towels can be hired, if you don't bring your own.

One thing not to bring is pictures of the DL. Photos of the Nobel Peace Laureate are, of course, forbidden by the Chinese in Tibet. A few years ago, His Holiness made a disparaging comment about homosexuality in San Francisco, of all places. But the insensitive comment coming from a man known as an apostle of peace caused such an uproar in the international gay community that it was "retracted for further review".

Buddhism, particularly in Tibet and Japan has a long homosexual tradition in the monasteries. Nevertheless, despite the more open-mindedness of Buddhism compared to most religions, homosexuality is not one of the twelve steps, "unless," as Boy George commented (having dabbled in Buddhism himself) "you're going backwards in high-heeled stillettos."

If you go to Tibet

The politically correct who boycott Burma may also balk at visiting Tibet. However, few Tibetans would discourage tourists from visiting their homeland. It is relatively easy to join a group from Kathmandu for the one hour flight to Lhasa or 3-5 day overland journey--either way it will cost you about $300 to get there. One reliable Kathmandu travel agency that organizes groups or can put you in touch with one is Adventure Tibet, e-mail: advtibet@wlink.com.np

It is also possible to fly to Lhasa from Bangkok via Chengdu with a special Tibet permit. From Chengdu the airfare is $150, but you still need to join a group.

Tourist infrastructure is very basic. Tibet is not for hypochondriacs or those finicky about cleanliness and hygiene. It takes a few days to adjust to the altitude of Lhasa (3,650m; 11.970 ft) with its atmosphere of only 68% oxygen. If you have a history of heart or breathing problems, consult your physician before departure. English is not widely understood. In Lhasa, Mandarin is the lingua franca.

Although politically part of China, Lhasa is a far cry from Beijing or Shanghai where gay activity is now coming openly out of the closet, and is tolerated by the authorities. The tourist infrastructure is still very primitive outside Lhasa, which boasts a few 3-star hotels. There are also a number of backpacker hotels that offer budget accommodation.

The best places to stay are the Tibetan, family-owned hotels near the Jokhang (the so-called Tibetan Quarter), and the Hotel Kyichu where one can find recent copies of Genre and Men's Health in the lobby is a particular favourite of the writer, and no problem with visitors.

Cruising

The park and open-air market across from the Potala Palace could be cruisy around late afternoon to sunset. Hang out around the pool tables, you'll be sure to make some new friends. Look for the martial and nomadic Khampas, brawny hunks in red-tasselled braids which they wrap around their head. Tibetans, like other Mongolian races, are generally hairless and beardless, if that turns you on.

Monasteries are, naturally, the logical place to meet those queer monks that Harrer writes about, although times (and mores) have changed since the Chinese occupation. The large monasteries are now tourist traps and you'll probably be herded through by your guide after paying $5.00 admission. If you want to meet Tibetan monks, you'd be better off going to India or Nepal

This text excerpted from www.stickyrice.ws

Gay Nepal: A Struggle Against History

Until 2006 Nepal had a tightly sealed government wrapped around the person--and whim--of the king who suddenly came to power in 1998 when his predecessor and other royal family members were murdered. After his ascension to power he succeeded in alienating politicians and the general populace alike by assuming near-dictatorial authority. Finally in May 2006 there was a huge uprising and rebellion against him and he was forced to surrender most of his power to the parliament. An uneasy but pragmatic peace was subsequently made with the insurgent Maoist rebels and the guerilla wars have stopped; a new constitution was written that reduced the king's position to a figurehead.

Within such tensions and within a firmly heterosexist society, Sunil Pant has nevertheless forged ahead with the Blue Diamond Society gathering and offering support to the LGBT Nepalese community--mostly men and only a few visible lesbians. With a shoestring budget virtually all the activities are grass roots and voluntary. Advocacy and lobbying for improved human and gay rights are minimal. Currently the country's sodomy laws forbid 'unnatural sex' among males, yet pedophilia with young girls is ignored.

There are no protective laws for gays and Blue Diamond is often the only recourse for young queers trying to escape their harsh and sometimes violently homophobic families. On the eve of his departure for Manila, Sunil was concerned with high drama involving a young lesbian whose family found out she was gay and had been beating her. When she tried to run away with her girlfriend they had been found by a relative and beaten some more and dragged home where her mother tried to poison her. She had to be hospitalized for medical and protective reasons. Sunil wondered out loud to me how Blue Diamond might find the young woman a paid position out of harm's way in Kathmandu. (A previous incident between two young lesbian lovers is reported at: http://www.ilga.org/Information/legal_survey/asia_pacific/nepal.htm )

My own experience of Nepal, several years ago, was a country left behind in time, a mystical and mysterious culture cut off from modern transformations-economic, political and humanitarian. Ancient Buddhist monuments in Kathmandu crowd close to ornate pagoda architecture that is both delightful and decrepit. I saw the late king and queen in person watching over the ritual of Indra Jatra, a September festival that involves pulling chariots containing small children-gods through the narrow cobbled streets. I came within inches of being run over by the one-ton wagon as it was dragged hastily by a hundred young men.

Otherwise, as a visitor. I encountered curious friendly faces of gentle demeanor. Outside the capital city I stood in the Himalayan foothills in awe of the shifting mist as it wrapped around great peaks and snaked through valleys. Along the river banks funeral ghats smoked from the cremation fires of the dead while naked little boys frolicked in the shallow water. Wandering Hindu yogis and ascetics with matted hair and penetrating eyes sat cross-legged talking to plaintiffs with mortal questions. I wondered what advice would be proffered to a young lesbian looking for validation!

All this seems so far away in time (1995) and place from Sunil's early work in 2001 getting Blue Diamond started. At first there were small private chats with guys cruising in a park. Sunil realized they knew little if anything about HIV and AIDS. With some funds from UNAIDS he provided safer-sex leaflets and condoms to the men, some of whom warmed to his purpose and message. Support groups formed that led eventually to Blue Diamond's formation (see interview that follows here) whose current outreach has reached thousands of LGBT Nepalese people. Their activities are listed on their web site: http://www.bds.org.np/

Since its formation Sunil has quietly lobbied police and military chiefs about the existence of homosexuals and advocating tolerant attitudes. This work has paid off unevenly. On occasion local policemen have harassed gays or tried to blackmail them. An April 2003 raid on a mixed-gay disco (see News & Reports on this site: #3) resulted in the 'Stonewall' of Nepal when gays and transvestites fought back against being roughed up. More police were called; a policeman's ear was bitten off and a 'riot' ensued. Sunil was called at four AM to help free the men from jail but first he called a news reporter and then a lawyer. It was front-page news the next day and was carried on the wire services across the world. Sunil told me that the police chief later expressed regret and pledged to sensitize the police force about gay people.

However, a few months later another incident involved hoodlums who attacked a gay couple. The situation was compounded by police who roughed up the couple instead of arresting the attackers.

So the work of Blue Diamond goes on against daunting odds, against widespread ignorance and brutality and virtually no understanding about homosexuality or the social and personal issues associated with it.

This text excerpted from www.globalgayz.com

Interview with Sunil

When did you first start thinking about starting Blue Diamond Society?

When I went back to Nepal after spending 6 or 7 years in India and Byelorussia. I was then working with a women's project creating and manufacturing handicrafts. We had connections in New York City.

Being gay I knew about cruising spaces in Nepal. But I found there was nothing else there—no support for men who had sex with men, no groups, nothing. Instead there was a lot of violence against gay men, family pressure to get married and leading double lives.

I thought the basic thing would be talk about safer sex issues at least. I asked my connections in New York to send some condoms and safer sex materials which they did. Then I started doing outreach in cruising areas. Slowly people felt comfortable coming and talking. After six months of doing this we decided to form a group.

Why did you feel you needed a group?

I felt we needed more support. I was dealing with local cruising spots where people weren't educated. We need economic assistance. So we contacted NGOs working with HIV/AIDS like UNAIDS. We had already found a significant amount of risky behavior. And a lot of men were married. So it affected their wives too. So we got together some money and trained 16 outreach educators. Then we decided to meet as a bigger group. We had a consultation meeting with UNAIDS and after 3 days of meeting we got the money for a drop-in center. That's when we set up an office and a drop-in center.

How big the office?

We have a staff of 23 now. We do all kinds of things like developing a hotline and a drop-in center. On Fridays we will have a gay movie. We have an STD clinic and have developed leaflets in local languages in condom usage for MSM sex.

Why the name Blue Diamond?

That comes from the years I spent in Russia. In the Soviet Union people would ask 'Are you blue?' That was a way of asking if you were gay. And the diamond is from Buddhism. People who are compassionate and enlightened—we call them diamond beings.

How did you find out about the cruising areas in Nepal?

Before going to Russia I would sometimes cruise on my own. But I didn't have sex. I knew the parks where people would go to cruise though. There was a small park in the middle of the Kathmandu valley. People would cruise there from evening to late night. There could be 100-200 guys in that one small park every night. It was in the tourist area—so there were a lot of hotels around. Also the travel buses would come there.

The problem was police harassment. Especially from people who claimed to be police but were never in uniform. They would say we will take you to the police station unless you pay us. Now people are getting more aware. They know that unless you are caught penetrating no one can do anything to you. But once I saw the policeman had pulled out his dick and trapped a guy. I caught them and said that was entrapment. I tell the guys not to be victims and just pay the money. Instead they should scream loudly and ask for help. Otherwise it is terrible. Sometimes these "police" would follow the guy home and then blackmail them. Guys would end up giving them their TV, VCR and refrigerator.

Has your organization had any confrontations with the police?

A few months ago there was a Red Cross conference in the city and they asked us to perform. Some guys who were in drag decided to go to the disco. On the way back they were caught by the police on the street. The cops kept them for hours. They asked them to pull up their saris and stuck their dandas (batons) up their ass. The guys lost their money and gold chains. They called me in the middle of the night. I went to the police and say if you don't give the money and chains back, I'll take photos of the bruises and give it to the press. Then they changed their tune.

But what has the press been like on these issues?

It can be very homophobic. I remember three years ago some guys were taken by the police from a disco. They were made to put on drag and makeup in the morning and asked to walk on the streets. The police taunted them saying "These are homos, cock suckers. They are diseased." The police called the press and their photos were published as fakes who try to cheat men by dressing as women. That was such shame for their families. The police only released the men after a week after some of their friends got together some money.

So we have been trying to talk to the press about human rights. There have now four or five articles. We also try and talk to different ministries but they are still convinced there are no homosexuals in Nepal.

Is there no local word for it?

There is Ma-runi which means feminine men. They would cross dress and even serve in the army and perform dances. Even the royal family invites them to perform. People think it's good luck to see them. But no one wants them in their families. They are feminine but people don't think about them sexually.

So how do men find each other?

Expatriates and high class people who have been abroad go to bars and discos and have private parties. There are no gay bars but there are a few places that are a little cruisy where you meet college boys or tourists. Also people meet through the Internet—I think there are 4 or 5 e-groups. You will see emails there from people saying they are arriving on such and such flight at such and such time or going to places like Pokhara and want to meet people.

But there is another class who are poor and working class and just go to the local cruising areas. In terms of identification there are a few who are feminized. We call them meta. Their top partners are called ta. But once they have been in the scene for a while they become meta too. But the scene is not very visible. It will take you a while to realize that a place is a cruising place. Unlike in India people are not so aggressive while cruising.

Do most of the men get married?

Yes, they think they will just have sex with men before marriage. But most of them end up having sex with men after marriage too. Very few wives know. Even the ones that do still stay with their husbands because divorce is such a big stigma A lot of men say that they stop having sex with their wives after getting married and having children.

Is religion an issue?

It's mostly Hindus and Buddhists in Nepal. Religion is quite flexible there. There is some same sex stuff in Tibetan culture. When I go to temples I can see stone and wooden same sex carvings. It's been there for a long time in religion. We call them mit and mitni— man-man woman-woman friendships. You go to a temple, find a witness and exchange flowers. That's quite accepted by society. Mits share everything including the bed. It still goes on in the countryside. I think it's much more than deep friendship.

How has the gay or MSM community reacted to an organization like Blue Diamond talking about homosexuality?

When we started, guys from the community were scared to be on the board. So initially it was my father, my sister, and her husband. After a year they resigned when people from the community came on board. Our NGO is regarded as a sexual health program for men. That made it easier for them. Now the same guy who was once scared of being on board, wants to talk to the press all the time. So things are opening up little by little.

It’s not talked about unlike in India where people speak about it. Also in India the cities are so big. There are a lot more platforms for gay people. Nepal is a small place. You go cruising and you find relatives passing by. In Nepal people say why make it an issue, we are happy this way. Many middle class guys are married with children and don't want this to become an issue. But newer guys are more concerned about their future and rights. Some guys even think they can face the family pressure and not get married because they have seen what miserable lives some of the married guys lead. But a lot of guys who come to our center also think it's a hormonal disorder and want to know if there is a cure for it.

Are you yourself out?

(Laughs) It's not spoken. But there are articles in the press which refer to me as the Director of the Blue Diamond Society working with gay people. So my family obviously knows. I also started a gay travel agency that focuses on gay tourists and my brother actually handles that. We hard two gay groups before the government imposed the emergency (due to violence with Maoist guerillas). The agency also provides jobs for gay people as guides.

But the best thing is as the word gets out a lot of people visit from other cities because they have heard about Blue Diamond. They want to come and see our offices arid they want us to go to their cities. So things are changing in Nepal

This text excerpted from www.trikone.org